Just as I thought my life was starting to clarify itself a little better; it once again presented many new avenues to reconsider. My comfort zone and the unknown is currently holding me back a bit from moving forward across my "midlife bridge" at this point. There are multiple issues right now.
Issue #1 relationship - is it everything I need and want and allows me to be myself and grow? Is it supportive and am I supportive in return? Should I look back on my original needs following divorce and replay those to ensure those needs are met? Those original needs such as, do I feel like myself or am I spending more time accommodating and meeting someone else's needs more than my own and at the sacrifice of myself? Am I doing exactly what I feel I want to be doing now? Am I satisfied with my work? Am I just rethinking this because engagement is again presenting itself and I am scared of that idea? Is it more negative then I prefer?
#1 Answer.... Undecided
Issue #2 kids. - What should I do to help them be more motivated, goal oriented and independent? What options are there to get them outside the house and experiencing the real world? How can I help them feel happier and still expect them to do normal daily expected chores and helping out at home?
#2 answer as of Oct 2011. Allowing my daughter to have a boyfriend now at the age of 14 and her focus on forensics (form of theatrical debating) and journalism; she is now working towards things in life that matter. My son is finally restarting a hobby, RC car racing and the tech school for auto body is giving him a direction; ambition is still lacking. At the age of 17 he continues with talk about a cars, driving and a job.
Issue #3 my car - Will I fix the front end on time or not. Should I get the newer Nissan Altima now or wait? Now that 40 year old side of myself wants that little Infinity sports car instead with two doors, but it is just a tad too soon for that yet. My heart is clamoring after it passionately :)
#3 answer I fixed my old car and took the smart route, paying things off to make life easier. My new found interest is a 2008 Range Rover Sport with low mileage!
Issue #4 2nd BA degree - Should I go back to school and will I get accepted by such an Ivy league school? Do I really want to spend so much time on education again and less time on my hobbies and passions? How much will it affect my work time and businesses? If I do go, the loans delay and when I finish the 2nd BA and obtain the higher paying job, it will be easier to pay the student loans. Or will my business do very well soon and the additional education and higher paying job becomes unnecessary?
#4 Answer is of October 2011 - NO more school. I am done with degrees and now applying what I know is a better option and no additional loans to add to my rap sheet.
Issue #5 Focus - Have I reduced enough of the midlife extras I created over the last few years, down to a manageable group of things to work on and people to spend my time with? Or are there still too many projects and interests to complete. Is it time to prioritize again and reduce the projects a little more to produce a higher degree of focus and success and more time for family?
Answer #5 in October 2011. There is always more things to reduce and that is an ongoing situation. The difference now is focusing on and completing the top priority things first. Place a date on the other items and it will all keep rolling towards gaining more value from my time.
When there is that many questions again and a stopping point is reached again; it means it is time for a self assessment again to clear up the unknown and move forward across the bridge while feeling good about the choices.
Issue #1 relationship - is it everything I need and want and allows me to be myself and grow? Is it supportive and am I supportive in return? Should I look back on my original needs following divorce and replay those to ensure those needs are met? Those original needs such as, do I feel like myself or am I spending more time accommodating and meeting someone else's needs more than my own and at the sacrifice of myself? Am I doing exactly what I feel I want to be doing now? Am I satisfied with my work? Am I just rethinking this because engagement is again presenting itself and I am scared of that idea? Is it more negative then I prefer?
#1 Answer.... Undecided
Issue #2 kids. - What should I do to help them be more motivated, goal oriented and independent? What options are there to get them outside the house and experiencing the real world? How can I help them feel happier and still expect them to do normal daily expected chores and helping out at home?
#2 answer as of Oct 2011. Allowing my daughter to have a boyfriend now at the age of 14 and her focus on forensics (form of theatrical debating) and journalism; she is now working towards things in life that matter. My son is finally restarting a hobby, RC car racing and the tech school for auto body is giving him a direction; ambition is still lacking. At the age of 17 he continues with talk about a cars, driving and a job.
Issue #3 my car - Will I fix the front end on time or not. Should I get the newer Nissan Altima now or wait? Now that 40 year old side of myself wants that little Infinity sports car instead with two doors, but it is just a tad too soon for that yet. My heart is clamoring after it passionately :)
#3 answer I fixed my old car and took the smart route, paying things off to make life easier. My new found interest is a 2008 Range Rover Sport with low mileage!
Issue #4 2nd BA degree - Should I go back to school and will I get accepted by such an Ivy league school? Do I really want to spend so much time on education again and less time on my hobbies and passions? How much will it affect my work time and businesses? If I do go, the loans delay and when I finish the 2nd BA and obtain the higher paying job, it will be easier to pay the student loans. Or will my business do very well soon and the additional education and higher paying job becomes unnecessary?
#4 Answer is of October 2011 - NO more school. I am done with degrees and now applying what I know is a better option and no additional loans to add to my rap sheet.
Issue #5 Focus - Have I reduced enough of the midlife extras I created over the last few years, down to a manageable group of things to work on and people to spend my time with? Or are there still too many projects and interests to complete. Is it time to prioritize again and reduce the projects a little more to produce a higher degree of focus and success and more time for family?
Answer #5 in October 2011. There is always more things to reduce and that is an ongoing situation. The difference now is focusing on and completing the top priority things first. Place a date on the other items and it will all keep rolling towards gaining more value from my time.
When there is that many questions again and a stopping point is reached again; it means it is time for a self assessment again to clear up the unknown and move forward across the bridge while feeling good about the choices.
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